What is the true purpose of relationships. Do you ever wonder. Is it to fall into endless love and bliss? Or are relationships there to practice seeing through patterns of behavior?
Sort of like friends. " You play this part , I will play this other part to figure this out"
We almost become scientists using the relationships to unfold false illusions. These false illusions are all thoughts. We are not our thoughts.
But be careful the actors can fall into the play so hard they lose their awareness of TRUTH
The pattern I personally kept coming across in my life was one of abandonment and being pushed away in relationships be it family or romantic or friends. This maybe started as a teen as I experienced divorce, then further in a marriage that didnt work and
was pushed out and then two strong relationships that did the same.
The pain of these experiences causes the mind to start to protect the character. A whisper will come in saying " she is pushing you out" Then to support it? The mind goes into memories and finds examples of how and when this happened. Its almost like a team of defenders takes on in the mind of the character. The mind will dig and find nuggets of proof. " look remember that, when she didnt give you a card on your birthday" Then after the mind finds the proof the character is now working with the mind and a defense of mind and character against some other energy called a relationship takes place. An entire war starts and the couple breaks up. All from thoughts.
The most driving piece to this is the thoughts which say " it should be going this way" These thoughts are driven just for the experience of finding happiness. When it doesnt go this way, the way you think it ought to be, then the mind comes in and whispers to look at memories and begin all over a defense to protect this false illusion of you being a separate energy.
What a mess and a complete mind control. We get so lost in this drama and our world starts to spin.
How then can a relationship help to see thru this at all. ?
It comes to using the relationship as a tool to see through the energies. To get another person who experienced the same memories you have experiences to help you. This is where a relationship helps.
So example. I called my girlfriend last night and said. " Hey I am experiencing something that makes me think we are fading?" I then give her examples of what memories I am pulling from my mind. " You did this or that etc..." Her response was " Yes those things happened but these other things happened that you are not remembering."
The mind follows the course of " you are being pushed out" and looks into memories for proof of that. To find the nuggets of proof the mind has to pass amazing stories and great memories to dig and find the supporting nuggets. It passes over the beautiful film to find the bad scenes, and then piles them up offering that as it truth.
This is where deep stopping and talks of truth are so important.
In sum, it comes to looking at what is here.. vs what should be. A relationship is where? Is it a real entity, can it be touched and moved. Molded? Controlled? The entire relationship will be expressed based upon the viewers perspective of their own truth. If you are bruised and feel you are a separate entity bruised then your relationships will mirror the bruises. The mind will find them
If you work on finding your own peace, your own boundless nature. Then that will reflect itself and secure you in yourself for another.
Photo by John Moeses Bauan on Unsplash